The kids have been out of school for a couple of weeks. We have one sports banquet and graduation party still to go, along with packing up my son to head off to be a camp counselor for the summer. All eight of us are under the same roof again, and mostly, it feels really good, because this may be the last season in our parenting lives that happens. We are figuring out norms, better communication (am I cooking for four or for eight tonight?), and how to function well with shared bathrooms and all that stuff.
I haven’t been able to find my personal rhythm yet. I feel a bit unmoored since school let out. Each day doesn’t have a unique plan as it does during the school year, and I find myself reinventing the wheel each day. I don’t like living like that. Before next week begins, I want to create a loose structure for my days with some definitive boundaries. I also want to visit coffee shops more (for tea!), make it over to Trader Joe’s, and go to places that I don’t make space for while homeschooling. My life has become rather small + insulated, and I would like to invite myself to exploration and curiosity outside my four walls. I am even getting my passport renewed, and am slowly putting together a bag for quick adventures. I feel myself shift now that I am entering my 50th year, desiring a deep connection with family and others while also honoring personal autonomy that makes me feel more like a person.
Did I tell you that I am pausing homeschooling and putting my youngest two children in public school? My rising Junior is already in public school, and now I will have three in the system. This is something I have been praying + pondering for well over a year now. I don’t necessarily think this is a full pivot, but am treating it as a season. I need a two-semester break, and then we will reevaluate. I have been home educating for 18 years and am ready to take the educator hat off. I simply want to be a mother to my children without that extra role. Depending on how the fall goes, they certainly could come back home. We aren’t zoned for great schools. But I feel certain that this is right for them and for me, and I look forward to being more involved in our community and understanding its needs. Again, I feel a bit too insulated! I always feel my best in an advocate/life-coach role instead of an educator role, and I think my gifting will shine well in this situation.
Life continues to throw us many curveballs, but we aren’t that surprised by them anymore. Baffled, yes. The blows are relentless, but we walk on, moment by moment, prayerful, trusting, firm. My prayer life grows. My hands learn to open. I walk, read, cook, tidy. Always seeking to do the next right thing, steady and sure. Our culture needs us to be those people, Spirit-filled eyes in hurricanes. We grieve, question, and pray honest words while holding the hand of Truth, promises, and the inheritance of our faith. These are not mutually exclusive. This is what it means to be human: tender, dependent, and real.
What I am enjoying these days? Watching Around the World in 80 Days (season 1) on PBS Masterpiece through Prime with my family. Resurrecting game nights (I beat my crew at Catan a few nights ago!) Making bruschetta for an easy lunch (diced San Marzano tomatoes, fresh basil, feta, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper over thinly sliced toasted baguette slices that I brush with olive oil and salt before putting under the broiler). Reading good novels. Journaling again. Putting out some red/white/blue summery decor. Finding a light facial lotion with sunscreen that feels good. Affirming my kids’ strengths. Sitting on my back porch. Grilling teriyaki chicken thighs, sweet and spicy pork chops, or marinated pork tenderloins for easy dinners. And always, BBQ chicken nachos.
Even though my life doesn’t feel ordered or routinized, it is filled with good things. Hard shows up as an uninvited guest, but beauty takes up more space in the room. I will water the seeds of goodness despite the evil that swirls around to steal. This pilgrimage of faith takes us down mystifying paths, but we hold hands with Jesus and find delight along the way.
Come see me if you get really adventurous! 😁 🇬🇧 🫖