I have hit a wall. I know I haven’t been drinking enough water. I am getting good sleep but it doesn’t seem to be enough. I think the combination of recent stressors combined with hyper-vigilance with this stomach virus along with not drinking enough water (like only 1-2 cups a day) has caught up with me. I felt so deeply tired yesterday, and woke up the same today, the kind of fatigue that makes your arms and legs feel heavy and you wonder how you will get the basics done.
I am resistant. I tried to do a Pilates routine today that, two minutes in, I knew I couldn’t accomplish. It wasn’t a matter of willpower, but of zero strength. I stopped and put on a gentle stretching routine from Monday’s Pilates calendar. Yesterday I tried to put on “hard pants” (pants with a button and zipper!) with a button-down shirt to convince myself I wasn’t that tired, and an hour later, exchanged those for buttery black leggings and a super soft light blue/green v-neck top from Costco. My body exhaled. I had grand plans to cook another beautiful and healthy meal for my family, but in the end, texted my husband to grab pizzas for the kids. He and I went to Zoe’s for a quick date and salmon kebobs.
My body is trying to tell me that it’s really and truly tired, and I argue with it and tell it to buck up and get going. When I feel this level of fatigue, I resent it. I have things I want to accomplish, to go and do, to create! It can feel incredibly frustrating.
First things first: fill my Yeti cup with water and commit to drinking this today. Recognize the urge to use caffeine and cookies to fuel me, and say no, because I tried that yesterday and felt worse! Accept that this too shall pass. Slow down and rest. Homeschooling is done for the day, the basics of today’s household tasks are mostly done, and dinner is a few hours away. Instead of pushing myself to run errands or work on the finances right now, I am going to lean into what my body is saying, get in bed with a book, and receive some rest. I am going to sip my water and trust God with my time.
It’s important to listen to our bodies. I spent a few decades completing ignoring mine. As I get older, I see and feel and know the importance of paying attention. I listen to my nervous system now, obey my gut when it says not to eat something, and stretch my neck and back and hamstrings every day because they yell “Tight!” When a body weighs you down, signaling for rest, figure out how to listen and do it. The world will go on just fine while the body restores. These moments of acceptance are where I meet Jesus, ponder His invitation in Psalm 23, and lean into His goodness and sovereignty. Choosing rest is an act of faith, trusting that all will be well because He is Lord over all things, even the smallest details of our lives.
May you find Rest and Restoration in whatever way you need Him today,
Aimee
Praying you find that bone deep rest you need. I’m right there with you! 💛
I’ve hit a wall too. Don’t despair, it will pass I tell myself. I believe this as I adjust my lifestyle and listen to my body and spirit. Thank you for sharing and for taking me to the beauty and reassurance of Psalm 23.