Helping My Child Nest
My oldest son has had his own room for a long time, as has my daughter. My four younger sons have shared a room for almost a decade. The oldest of those four is almost 18 and has always shared a room with a sibling since he was four months old. With my oldest moving out last week, there was a room opening! And my almost 18-year- old immediately bought some colored lights to hang around the top of the room in his very own space.
After a full morning of homeschooling, I headed out to Target. I bought him a new rug, a duvet with cover, fresh sheets, and a bed skirt. We have rearranged the bedroom furniture so that really opens up the room and makes it feel calm and inviting. He doesn’t even quite know how to decorate a solo space. Posters? A chair? Maybe a bookcase? Memorabilia? It’s fun to watch a child who has always been easy and flexible, happy to share space, to evolve and experience building his own nest and making it his own.
I love coaching my kids on how to think about what will make a room function well and feel the coziest. Use lamps, not overhead lighting! Add in soft layers. Plants, whether faux or real will breathe life. Frame some photos or stick them on your wall. Add things that inspire you. Do you need hooks? A bulletin board? Use 3M velcro strips to add some fun variety to your walls. Remember that you will sleep better with less clutter. Curate regularly.
I’ve helped build the structure of the room, the basics, and the foundation. This is what I do in all of my children’s rooms. And then I offer them the freedom to run and explore with the details. It is interesting to see what inspires them, what they want hanging by their beds, how they want to organize their treasures and collections. I view their rooms as a partnership between us. I set the stage, coach, and allow them to try things out. It’s okay to make some nail holes in the wall and to make mistakes. They are learning to nest, to express their individuality, preferences, and interests.
As we are raising little birds, we can teach them how to build their own nests one day. It can be just one shelf, one bookcase, one wall, one corner of the garage, or their whole room. We can help build their confidence in building their future homes by giving them some freedom and creativity now. It’s fun to listen to their ideas, offer feedback, and see their personality reflected in their decor. Some people give free rein and the rooms are terrible. Others control all of it and it has no reflection of the child. There is a middle way of partnership that can please both parent and child. Maybe not completely, but good enough!
Enjoy the coaching,
Aimee