As an idealistic college student, one who wanted to live life with purpose more than a paycheck, I drank deeply of challenges to change the world, to make my life count, and to live with an eternal perspective. It seemed like a no-brainer for me to say yes to mission opportunities and to raise financial support to live overseas pioneering campus ministry in Eastern Europe. When my stint overseas was over, I knew I was called to be in full-time campus ministry and joined the staff of Cru quickly. It was important to me to use my small life in big ways that mattered.
Those years shaped me in beautiful ways and trained me to live with a ministry mindset. My lens on time and what is important and valuable was forever influenced by what I learned in my twenties. I was a very black and white thinker then, and so my vision for ministry looked very traditional. Paid missionary work was obedience, and working in the marketplace was selling out. I had distinct mental categories as to what kinds of activities constituted ministry and what didn’t. My views were limited in their scope, and this would haunt me for years.
Several years later, my husband and I left “full-time ministry” (paid work), and he got a traditional job in sales. I had three young children, pregnant with my fourth. I felt completely lost and disillusioned as to what my life had become. I grieved for the loss of what I thought our lives would look like and felt like a kingdom failure. It took me a long time to heal from those beliefs and to realize God’s call on my life was bigger and broader even in its smallness, sameness, and obscurity.
God whispered to me to “bloom where I was planted”. I didn’t want to be planted. I wanted adventure, ministry events, being a part of a purposeful spiritual community. I recognized that He was calling me to a path of faithfulness, a quiet life, walking the path in season and out of season with little ones surrounding me. He was teaching me to walk in the Spirit down the lonely paths of domestic service, making a home that would love and ground my husband and six children, and whomever He asked me to invite in.
Home became the place to “reach the world”. From home, I could pray, support missionaries, sponsor Compassion children, write letters of encouragement, take meals to mothers with new babies, welcome newcomers to our area into a small group, offer book clubs, host potlucks, gather women for IF:Tables, write small blog posts of encouragement, use a budding social media in positive ways to offer rest and peace. With every passing year I have been able to see that God knew my personality, my limited capacity, my gifts, and offered me an easier yoke than I had asked of myself. He offered me a home, and knew that was where I would flourish and where I could love others well. I didn’t know that in my twenties—I didn’t know that the command to “Go” would look like “Stay”.
These days look like making space for my husband to invest in young men in our neighborhood, hosting Sunday Night Dinners (currently on hiatus until late March), leading a monthly MomHeart group, and being a mentor mom at MOPS. I continue praying that God will show me ways to love well in my neighborhood especially once this pandemic has gotten under control. I make myself available to my elderly neighbors, knowing they may need our assistance at some point. As we explore alternate schooling choices for some of our children, I want to be open to serving well here in my small community, loving the hurting ones who need some nurture in their lives. All of this is “full-time ministry” because ministry is wherever my feet are.
Home is the place for the ministry of caregiving to bloom. We must not devalue these small acts done with great love. All of it is important and influential. Caregiving didn’t come naturally to me. I had to learn it and practice it, looking for people who were modeling it well. This wasn’t a natural personality trait of mine, but a willingness to say yes to loving others through the mode of home. As we wake up daily, we surrender our days to Him, asking how He wants us to love that day. And for me, choosing a life that is home-centered, means that the domestic arts become the channel for loving whomever He puts in my path.
I was reminded of this when I recently watched the movie “Land” with Robin Wright (remember her? The Princess Bride?). The main character, Edee, is a grieving middle-aged women, experiencing deep pain and loss, and has moved to a remote cabin in the wild to make a life alone. The elements of winter almost kill her, but a kind man notices that there is chimney smoke in her cabin when he passes by, but when he returns, the smoke is gone. He knew he needs to check on the stranger that lives there. After he helps save her life, she asks, “Why did you help me?” And his simple response is, “You were in my path.”
Who will be in your path today? How can we use our home-based skills to show loving care to others? What does it look like to live on purpose for the Kingdom from our small plots of lands, our humble homes, our tucked away places?
Walking the path with you,
Aimee
For inspiration:
This post is a lovely essay to read about one family’s communal caregiving during the pandemic.
This one takes about 30-45 minutes to read but is worth it. I love watching when unlikely people become friends and take care of each other.
My favorite book on caregiving, and although I don’t agree with everything in this one, I am absolutely inspired to live life with an open door whenever I re-read this.
Love this Aimee! The traditional way of "domestic arts" is difficult for me right now while we live in the middle of DIY & packing world, prepping to sell our house. I'm trying to keep up with home-cooked meals most nights and little holiday/birthday traditions. The movie quote above is so simple yet profound. I love the reminder that caring for people doesn't have to be a big production, just loving the next person in my path in simple ways <3
Praying for eyes to see what He “puts in my path”~thank you for this reminder! Love hearing your story and the change in beliefs~that’s a big one. I, too, had a missions past and then change to motherhood and home.