I remember many years ago when a mother-of-many, who was a mentor to me, encouraged me with this phrase: keep your eyes on your own work. I come back to that over and again when I feel insecure as a mother, home educator, homemaker, minister of the gospel. We can slip into comparison so easily and not even realize that our hustling and our anxious-driven choices are being influenced by what we see other women doing. We wonder if we are doing enough or have picked the best curriculum or if our homes measure up to some new trend or standard. We see other’s successes and feel weird about our own life. We see other’s failures and feel superior about our own life. We have our eyes fixed on someone else’s work, and it doesn’t serve us well. So-called inspiration can turn to comparison if we aren’t vigilant.
This is a good question to ponder during the summer: What is my work? What has God called me and you to do during this particular season, maybe even just the next 3 months? What is mine that I can steward with the resources I have already been given? Whom am I to serve? What particular gifts do I have that need to be nurtured and used to strengthen others? When we sit before the Lord with these questions and wait, we can hear and discern what our current life needs to be about. Then when we see the good things that other women are up to, we can rejoice in her calling and feel settled in our own. We aren’t called to be cookie-cutters, and we all have different gifts, capacities, and seasons. We are called to listen to the Spirit and depend on Him to guide us on our unique path. We listen, observe, wait, and then obey. We cannot obey a list that was designed for someone else, because that in fact is not obedience at all. We read the Scripture for the obvious commands, and then discern what that looks like for our personal puzzle. Much misery comes from trying to live another woman’s life.
After we have heard and sense what our next right obedience is, we share it with trusted companions. We need that encouragement and accountability on our races. We don’t try to convince others to run our particular race but cheer each other on as we run on parallel paths. Keeping our eyes on our work doesn’t mean that we become isolated hermits, but that our energy is focused on our calling while we also cheer others on for theirs. We stay in our lane while yelling encouragement to the people on the lanes around us.
It’s Friday, and I’m grateful. My hormones are calm, I have been sleeping better, and I feel clear-minded. That’s a gift. This is the best time of the month for discernment and so I will be thinking deeper and journaling more in the next week. For now, I am off to the pool to cool off and enjoy my community. I hope your weekend is life-giving and doing what you know is yours to do.
Aimee
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