I drove an hour to Florence, South Carolina, this morning to take my daughter to meet up with her ride. We pulled into a Pilot gas station, right off of I-95, and loaded her gear into Timmy’s Ford. Katie hasn’t met Timmy before, but in the group chat, he asked if they liked listening to Hamilton, so we know it’ll be just fine. With a hug and “have a blast!”, I headed right back down the interstate towards home. She will spend 3 weeks with Cru in Daytona Beach, being discipled, doing ministry, growing, learning, connecting. The crazy part? Mike and I were on that same Summer Mission 20 years ago this summer with baby Katie in tow. This whole story has come full circle, and the layers of it are a fascinating story for another time.
I stopped by two favorite thrift shops, both owned by the same family, in Elgin, SC, on the way home. They are both named Hidden Treasures, and I always find some perfectly priced fun items. Today some $1 vintage books headed home with me along with two quirky, happy, framed needlepoints! The needlepoint of a bay with sailboats has inspired me to create a dining room corner vignette tomorrow for summer. It’s exciting when a heartfelt purchase translates to new energy for creative expression!
After that, I crashed. I took a good, hard nap. For days I have realized that I am experiencing the adrenaline drop from the end of the school year, along with more time and space to process what the heck has happened the last 6 weeks. We have had a lot of stressors, and I have had to keep focused, acknowledge the hard, and keep moving. Now that the moving has stopped, those vulnerable emotions are peeking their heads up. It’s safe to come out. Sadness, mostly. Often times I try to figure out what to “do” with my emotions, instead of just noticing them, feeling them, and letting them be. I don’t have to mow my emotional landscape down and turn it into a factory of productivity. I can sit with the feelings, asking Jesus to be with me in that, and to comfort me. My sadness doesn’t need a slap of self-help or to be turned into a science experiment of sorts, examining it under the microscope. I need to accept my humanity, living here on earth, where sadness is part of the journey. It doesn’t need to define me, but it can accompany me, and I don’t need to be afraid of it. Secretly, I was hoping the nap would be some sainted cure-all for my blues, but here I sit, awake again, lump in my throat still here.
I’m off to find my boys to ready them for swim practice, and to throw together a dinner plan which will probably include the BBQ chicken nachos I mentioned last week (or let’s be real, leftovers). I will continue to do the next right thing, even while sad, knowing that all will be well.
Aimee
I'm praying for you tonight, Aimee.