The stomach virus is still raging here in our home. I thought we had ended it when we experienced three days of no one getting sick, but one of my sons got hit hard yesterday. We’ve been dealing with this for a week, and I feel like all I do is clean, wipe, sanitize, wash, fold, repeat. Waiting for the “other shoe to drop” isn’t a great way to live, and it reminds me of those early days of shelter-in-place a year ago.
I can’t seem to settle down. When life feels out of control like this, I tend to clean and move around a lot. Yesterday I even downloaded the Couch to 5K app and did day 1. My right knee isn’t happy about that decision. I started to feel guilty this morning that I am unable to just sit and be. Sometimes I am too hard on myself. When life feels pushy and intense, I move towards want things to be done perfectly and rightly whether big or small. If I can’t get control of the big things in life, then I certainly try to get control of the small ones. I’m not that fun to be with these days! Over-tired and over-wired.
I started to think about how Emily Freeman says that a spiritual discipline can be anything that puts you in the path of God. I began to release my perfectionistic expectation of myself to settle down and get zen. As I folded my laundry, I prayed. As I started a new load, I prayed. As I vacuumed my room, I leaned into His presence. We have been watching the series The Chosen recently (if you haven’t seen it, DO IT!), and I just kept picturing Jesus being so gentle and compassionate with me. Seeing me, loving me, inviting me to soul rest even as my body moves around.
I think it’s helpful that as we think about connecting with Jesus, it can look and feel so many different ways. He is a Person, not a concept. He is Real, and not some imagined ideal. He is Relatable, not abstruse. Near not distant. He desires companionship during my crisis. He is going along with me. The way we relate shifts and flows, intuitive and intimate. He is not a morning routine but a Morning Star, shining His light on my day before it even begins, an invitation to walk in His light, close by His side.
So what is on your list today? Do you have many tasks to accomplish, feeling like you are on your own to make things happen? That can be the path where you meet Jesus. When life becomes full and mini-crises come across our way, we can meet Him right there. Any task, any action can become a spiritual discipline of sorts. Pouring the Pedialyte. Heating the soup. Washing the towels. These acts become the Spiritual Discipline of Caretaking. I am meeting Him here.
Peace to you on your paths today,
Aimee
Thank you Aimee, I have only just rediscovered your posts, and I am so enjoying your reflections. We are in very similar stages of life - I have 6 children, ranging from 4-22 , 5 boys one girl...we too have been watching The Chosen and it has been ministering to us powerfully. Thank you for taking the time to share, it has been life giving for me the past few weeks. God bless you and your family and I pray this virus comes to an end in your household soon!
Clare Rattenbury (from Sydney, Australia)
Thank you! Amen~
Yes, The Chosen and His kind eyes looking into ours!!